By Ken Norton
Leaders who tend to be a good fit for my coaching…
Indications that someone may not be a good fit for my coaching — in some of these cases, advising, mentorship, training, or consulting might be more appropriate:
Executive coaching is distinct from advising, consulting, training, or mentoring. The differences can be subtle and further complicated because many people who call themselves coaches actually provide one or more of these other services. This is especially the case in the product world, where “product coaching” has become quite popular, but has more in common with mentoring or consulting than with coaching as it has traditionally been defined. (See What Coaching is Not at the bottom of this page for more about the differences.)
It’s no surprise that many people who contact me are unfamiliar with coaching – unless you’re a Fortune 500 CEO, few of us have encountered it in our professional lives. People new to executive coaching often expect to bring questions and hope that their coach will have the answers. They are surprised to discover that coaching is precisely the opposite – coaches are usually the ones asking the questions, while clients are providing the answers. But here’s the good news: when exposed to coaching, most people recognize how much more powerful it can be than advising, consulting, or mentoring and open up to it quickly. Like an innovative product, people don’t know to ask for coaching because they don’t know it exists. That’s my responsibility – to make sure potential clients understand what executive coaching is all about before they hire me. I wrote this article if you’re new to executive coaching to make it easier to understand the differences and make sure it’s what you’re genuinely seeking before you hire a coach.
The distinction between content and context is the most foundational – if not the foundational – concept to understanding my approach to executive coaching. In brief, content is the situation itself (the “what”) and context is everything that influences how you approach that situation (the “how”).
To illustrate this, let’s imagine a real-world challenge that someone might bring to coaching. Lisa is the CEO of a Series B SaaS software startup, and David is the Chief Product Officer. After two years of explosive growth, revenue has slowed. The board has begun putting pressure on Lisa to focus on margins and cut costs. Lisa has charged David with putting together a plan to improve gross margins from 70% to 75% while maintaining their aggressive ARR targets. David has prepared a detailed presentation for Lisa with the help of his departmental leaders.
Everything I’ve just described in the last paragraph is content. Content is the who, what, when, where, and how that consumes your attention and energy in life. The charts and graphs, the ARR goals, the roadmap, the experiments, the margins, and all of the ideas and proposals Lisa and David will be discussing. The perspectives of the board, the timelines for the Series C raise, who on David’s team will implement it, all of that. Anything and everything Lisa and David talk about over coffee and late night pizza. Who will do what by when. It’s all content.
Meanwhile, David spent the entire weekend riddled with anxiety. He’s nervous because he knows deep down the possibility of hitting these product-led growth goals is a total pipe dream. He believes this because his twenty years of experience tell him there’s always a tradeoff. You can’t eat your cake and have it too. But he’s afraid to reveal that to Lisa because he’s worried she doesn’t want to hear it. He knows she’s experiencing pressure from the board, and he’s telling himself a story that she’s not interested in hearing any bad news. She wants him to give her a plan, and he won’t be the one to tell her no. David is unaware that this is a lifelong pattern of his.
This is also bringing up dark memories from his childhood. The words “cost-cutting” make him wonder if there will be layoffs. Will he need to cut jobs on his team? He remembers when his father got laid off when he was a teenager and how devastating that was to his family. He can’t imagine having to put anyone else’s family through that. He’s also keenly aware that this job was going to be the launching pad to CEO. He needs this company to be successful, it has to work out. This belief touches on deep questions of identity, and what it means to David to be considered a success or a failure.
All of that is context. Context is how you are being with the content of your life. It’s the place from which you are having those conversations about the who, what, when, where, and how. How David is being with the content. Put another way, if content is everything on the movie screen of our life, context is the lens through which we are seeing and experiencing it.
Imagine David sits down with someone eager to help but who only focuses on the content. Perhaps a product-led growth advisor who brings decades of content experience to the table. They might have useful frameworks for making ARR and margin tradeoffs. They’ve probably been in the trenches many times in similar situations. They have lots of advice on dealing with demanding CEOs and maybe even how to frame tradeoffs to early-stage boards of directors. They might even be able to share examples of PowerPoint presentations from other startups they’ve worked with! All of that can be really helpful, and I’m sure would be beneficial to David. But we can see how they’d be missing the mark because they’re oblivious to David’s context in this situation, which is where the real challenge for him resides.
An emphasis on context is one of the most important things differentiating coaching from content-focused practices such as consulting, advising, training, or mentoring. Clients can bring whatever content they want to our sessions (issues, problems, concerns, questions, opportunities). The content can be professional or personal. It’s up to them to decide what it is they want to talk about and explore. The topic is theirs to choose. Context is the place from which we’ll be having the conversation about the content. In coaching, we’ll be just as interested, if not more interested, in the context. Whereas a consultant or advisor would stick to the content, we’ll delve deep into both in coaching.
In coaching, we have the opportunity to explore how David really feels, what stories he’s developed, what he truly wants, and what unconscious belief systems and patterns he needs to overcome to get there. Most leaders are focused most of the time on content. And most leaders are content experts, certainly David is.
But through coaching, David can learn to be just as aware of his context as the content. Developing those skills will help the content to resolve itself much more quickly. Focusing on context will help reveal inner stories, blind spots, unconscious belief systems, and patterns that keep us stuck or anchored in conflict, drama, and the behavior we want to change. When we only pay attention to content, it can feel like we occasionally make progress and solve problems, but issues keep recycling. Shifting from content to context is the key to unlocking growth and transformation as a human being.
As a coach of leaders, I further maintain that while most leaders are content experts, becoming a great leader requires learning to pay as much attention to context as content in the workplace and your personal life. We’ll work on developing those skills.
If this makes sense to you, learn more about my executive coaching or get started.
Advising is a content-focused profession. A best friend or family member has opinions and an agenda, while a coach has a process. When you talk to your friends, family, board members, or bosses about something you’re struggling with, they will likely have their own opinions and judgments about the situation. Even if they have your best interest at heart, any advice they offer will be rooted in what they think is best for you. The coaching relationship is truly a collaborative effort based solely on what the client wants. Coaches are professionally trained to be completely objective and non-judgmental. They’re not attached to any outcome or decision their clients make, and they’re able to provide guidance and tools that help their clients implement solutions so they can get one step closer to living their best life. Unlike an advisor, I will create a space that is free from judgment and maintain a level of detachment from any particular course of action you take, knowing that coaching is not about what I deliver but about what you create.
Consulting is a content-focused profession. Consultants focus on situations, while coaches focus on people. In other words, “expert” consultants are hired to help clients define their problems, formulate solutions, and sometimes even implement those solutions (often using their personal experience as a model for success). Unlike a consultant, I view you as the expert in your own life and business. Instead of telling you what to do, I am here to facilitate your discovery of your own answers. I will support your vision and goals and believe in your brilliance and potential even when you do not.
A mentor says, “Follow me,” while a coach reveals where the client is standing on the map and asks, “Where shall we go next?” Mentoring can mean serving as a wise role model and is usually about helping the mentee emulate the mentor’s own decisions and style. Coaching techniques, however, are designed to help individuals find their own way and discover their own strengths, skills, and blind spots. Coaching does not assume that everyone will be equally successful following the same path. And while a coach can have valuable experience and insight in the client’s field, their real value lies in helping people draw on their own experience and wisdom as they move ahead.
Coaching and therapy indeed share a lot in common, and both focus on context over context. Of course, coaching can, at times, be therapeutic. We share some of the same training. Still, it’s important to clarify that coaching does not treat mental disorders and is not a substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care, or substance abuse treatment. Generally speaking, coaching focuses on visioning, success, the present, and moving into the future. Therapy emphasizes psychopathology and the past to understand the present. As an analogy, a coach is like an athletic trainer, while a therapist is like a medical doctor specializing in sports medicine. The trainer assumes that the athlete is essentially sound in body and is focused on improving fitness and performance. The trainer will refer the athlete to the team doctor if there is reason to believe they have an injury. Similarly, coaches and therapists work with the same material but with different skill sets and to different ends. A coach may explore the past, family life, or emotions of their client in the service of understanding the stories being told about the present and future. Many of my clients work with both a coach and a therapist, and there are many advantages to such a holistic approach.
Training is a content-focused approach. Training is curriculum based, while coaching is client focused. Training is an effective approach when specific skills or objectives must be mastered. A trainer/instructor establishes and presents the curriculum, meets set objectives, administers the same material to each person, and even conducts testing to determine whether students successfully acquired an understanding of the subject. Coaching, though, is about guiding individuals or groups as they set and reach their own objectives. Unlike training, there is no clear path or set curriculum; it is less linear and more organic.
Sources of inspiration: Why Giving Advice Rarely Works and the ICF Referring a Client to Therapy guidelines
Working with Ken has changed the way I approach not only my job, but my personal relationships. When I was promoted to VP, I experienced a bit of an existential crisis. I questioned my abilities and whether I deserved to be in that role. Ken’s helped me build confidence, recognize my unique strengths, and internalize that I deserve my job. He’s able to push me, and also be in my corner.
Ken’s never going to get rid of me as a client. Working with him has been transformational. I’m finally clear about my goals and values, more satisfied in my role, and more present in my life.
I love having Ken in my corner rooting for me. He’s like my professional big brother or uncle. I reached out to him because my new role as the most senior product leader in the company was pressure-testing me in a way I've never encountered before. It felt lonely and I knew I needed to become a better version of myself. These days, I actually look forward to the emotional ups and downs I experience in my role, because I know I’m going to generate a meaningful insight working through that emotion with Ken.
Ken’s coaching improves the quality of the decisions I make. He has a deep understanding of how product-minded individuals think, which was crucial for me. It’s like working with an incredible Zen product leader who knows how to ask the right questions to get me to the right answers. He’s helped me gain clarity and confidence in taking action instead of feeling paralyzed by choices.
I was growing in my product leadership career but was running into challenges scaling. I needed someone who had ‘been there and done that’ who could help me work on me. After partnering with Ken, I’m better at seeing around corners and getting in touch with the root of any issue. I am able to articulate who I am as a leader and what it means to show up and lead authentically.
I have so much gratitude and admiration for Ken. It‘s a gift to have regular conversations that provoke thought and bring what‘s most important into focus. Our work together has been deeply centering and energizing for me. I always leave our sessions with a renewed sense of my own path as a leader.